THE PARISH: WHERE DO I FIT?
by Deacon Gene Festa

When a person suddenly finds him/herself single after many years of marriage, there are always friends and family. And of course the professional therapist. But there is one place that a lot of people fail to think of. Instead, they may actually flee from a place where comfort and acceptance has been present in the past.

The recently divorced and/or widowed person begins to think, sometimes, that there is no place anymore for them in their church, perhaps where they have worshipped and celebrated in the past, where they have laughed and cried before. Now they run away. They think there is no place for a single person in today's church. They could not be more wrong!

In his letter to the Corinthians St. Paul writes: "If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." Even though the single person might want to run away and give up on his church, he has but to recall these words of Paul to realize that we are all one family of believers and as followers of Christ, we are obligated to reach out and accept all those who would want to follow him. Jesus came for everyone. He died for everyone. He loved everyone. He reached and touched everyone. And that means, no matter what the situation is.

And so, as the recently divorced or widowed person begins to take stock of his life, he must realize that there is a place for him within the framework of the parish setting. There is much he can do to become involved. As a matter of fact, upon investigation, he will find out that there are countless areas to get involved in.

Like what, for example. Let me give you a few examples. How about the local support group for divorced, separated or widowed. Join them, help them! They always need help to keep going and new blood is always welcome. Don't have one? Start one! There's a definite need for groups like this in every church. There are countless people who need a loving group of people who will accept them and help them get through whatever situation they may find themselves in. Your pastor doesn't want a support group or won't help?? Then he needs to be reminded of this man, Jesus, and what he did all his life. Like reaching out and helping the undesirables and castoffs of his time.

There are so many other places for a single person to fit in! Like scripture study groups. Never been in one? Great! It's a wonderful way to meet new people, especially the Lord in his spoken word. And speaking of groups, there's the Renew program in each parish. Now that's something to find out about. Some parishes have really had success with Renew this past year and a new session will begin in the fall.

How many other ministries or groups in the church need you. Do you sing or play an instrument? How about joining a music group in the church? No? What about being a lector or a Eucharistic minister? There's nothing in church law that says you can't do any of these things to enhance the weekly church celebrations.

Some of the most beautiful times our Eucharistic ministers experience lately is visiting the sick in the hospital. What an important act of love that is. And you know what, not one person ever asks whether you're divorced or not. When a person is in pain and reaching out, they will take any hand presented to them in love.

A truly valuable place to get involved is in the church education program. There is always a need for CCE teachers, especially men who are willing to share their faith with kids. How important for a little boy to be able to pray with a grown man...to know that it's O.K. to love God and that real men do remember who they are and who their creator is.

There are so many other places one can fit in a church: social ministry committee (helping the poor and needy), starting a Right to Life group in your parish, Knights of Columbus, the Women's Club, helping with the RCIA program as a sponsor for a new Catholic. And anything else your imagination can create! Just check the bulletin one Sunday and see what group is meeting or who needs help.

Is it easy? Is it risky? Is it a big step for some of us? Yes. Of course it is! But when one has found himself in a despairing situation, the path to get on is one of growth. And growth many times means taking risks and not necessarily doing the easiest thing

In our church, we speak of everyone's call to share his/her gifts of Time, Talent and Treasure. You see, it isn't enough just to drop an envelope or a few dollars in the basket each week. We need to remember that the Lord is calling us to bigger and better things every day. We do need to look for ways to "give back to the Lord" for all he has given us. This is what faith means, what a follower of Christ is. St. James puts it well in his epistle: "What good is it to profess faith without practicing it? Such faith has no power to save one, has it?...the faith that does nothing in practice...is thoroughly lifeless." (Ch. 2)

Each baptized person has a place in ministry... service to others in whatever capacity he may discover is the best. The parish family takes us all in, the good and the bad, the sick and the healthy, and the broken, as well as the healed. Jesus is there, reaching out to all, and if he doesn't seem to be, then it's up to us to call out the Jesus in our brothers and sisters and even to reach out to them. Try it!!

[Printed with permission of Deacon Gene Festa]